I am drowning

March 29, 2007 at 3:39 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

What I meant literally was that I was just now listening to some Beethoven from Classical Music Archives. I am not disturbing anyone because I am listening through my earphone, and I am drowning, a pleasant kind of drowning where you don’t die but go into a trance, an ecstasy.

Music has moved me always. I have always preferred music to any other fine arts because you do not need an expertise to appreciate good music. you need only instinct and a good ear for music.

Long ago, when I used to go to only English movies, whether I understood the story or dialogs fully or not, in Casino, Elphinston or Odeon Theatre, I used to particularly like the music they played before the movie started or during the intermission. Those days music from movies like A Few Dollars More, Sugar Colt, Baby Elephant Walks, A Patch of Blue, Bridge on the River Kwai, Satan Never Sleeps, Dr. Zhivago, used to draw discerning viewers, and I was one among them, discerning or not.

I remember sitting at Carnatic Music Concerts, without the basic knowledge of Ragas or Talas, never having been trained in music formally, and my gullet will constrict with emotion and fulfilment when the music is too much and engulfs me and envelopes me.  At such moments if someone were to talk to me, I might not be able to utter a word because my heart is filled to the brim with music and its fulness.  This might sound foolish or exaggerated but every word I utter here is gospel truth.  There is no rhyme or reason in what I am saying but that is how I feel at such moments.

 I am an incomplete mortal in the sense I am wanting in all the departments of character, integrity and whatnot, but somehow these shortcomings don’t matter if there is some goodness in you.  I believe there is some goodness in me which far overweighs all my follies and foibles.  And that is why I feel very fortunate in life, though I have suffered the ultimate loss when Kala left us. 


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